[The next time someone asks you a stupid question
wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....]
Yesterday I was at Tesco buying a large bag of Purina dog food for
Rover the wonder dog and was about to
check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm
retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting
the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost two stone before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of
my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your trouser
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in
the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I
stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's #!%$ and
a car hit us both.
I thought the bloke behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
Tesco won't let me shop there anymore.
