Thats a hard one at this day in age. i would used to have said at 13 they should be ok on a bus but these days who knows.
0 Kudo
Debate - At what age
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 dogdaft |
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Posts: 434 (06/07/2008 15:49:49) |
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FionaBee |
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Posts: 770 (06/07/2008 18:00:13) |
I don't think age is the real criterion; our son was allowed to do quite a lot that his older sister wasn't ready for, and likewise she did things that
he couldn't.
In this case I think 13 is quite old enough to travel on the bus alone....but then I suppose I'm thinking of years ago. At 13 I had a 15 minute walk to the staion, a 30 minute train journey, a 5 minute walk to a friend's house and then a 10-15 minute cycle ride to school........ If you say 13 isn't old enough, what about 14? 15? 16? They have to do it some time..... |
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Pintsizeholly |
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Posts: 899 (06/07/2008 21:56:09) |
My husband is a bus driver and often gets lone children sitting near him on a bus. My eldest son would go on a bus on his own from about 12 but my youngest is
very shy and would rather walk into town than catch a bus. At 13 she should be able to go on a bus as her Mum is popping her onto the bus one end and
you'll be collecting her the other end. I think, like others, there is more to this. Just hope you can manage to get things sorted as it is daughter who
will be missing out on contact with her father
Kym |
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secretstamper |
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Posts: 3140 (06/07/2008 22:44:05) |
I think its such a shame that our kids aren't allowed any independence today. She would be quite safe as long as she was in sight of the driver, its not as
if you are expecting her to travel at night or walk the streets on her own. I do understand how worried parents are about their daughters but they have to
learn to be independent or how will they manage when they are older. I tend to agree with the others though that there is more to this than the safety aspect.
If OH's daughter is sensible enough to be left on her own while her mum is at work surely she is capable of travelling on her own by bus. I agree with Kym,
its such a shame that the girl is missing out on contact with her dad, perhaps you could put that to her mum. There are so many dads who don't bother with
their children its such a shame that a caring dad is being obstructed from spending time with his daughter
Hope you manage to get it sorted out Claire xx |
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orcadianprincess |
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Posts: 1024 (07/07/2008 00:06:18) |
I am unsure exactly what the Mum is concerned about, it seems that only the actual trip from A to B on the bus can be in question and in addition that men
might look at the daughter because she looks older than she is.
If the daughter is old enough to go out the house while her Mum is at work then men could look at her anyway. If she can be unsupervised during the day (unless she isn't allowed to leave the house) what is the difference. If she gets on a bus a point A and is picked up at point B and the daughter phones home to confirm her arrival, surely this is the safest arrangement she has on a daily basis. If the girl leaves the house while Mum is at work, does she phone in every time she changes location to confirm her whereabouts, and if she didn't confirm where she was, how long would it be before someone realised there was a problem? I know as I grew up, I saw my Dad less and weekends as I grew older because I wanted to spend time with my friends/boyfriends at weekends instead. We changed access ararngements and were more flexible but I made time to go to my Dad's every 2nd weekend and then every third weekend and laterly every 4 th weekend before my Dad moved away. I think the best option would be for your OH to talk to his daughteer and see if it is the mother making excuses or if the daughter has alternative plans. If the daughter wants to see her Dad then your OH should possibly tackle his ex. I hope you don't think I am talking out of turn but I would hate to think that a Mother is standing in the way of a daughter seing her father. (I also think I have baggage about this issue but it wasn't my Mum's fault more choises my Dad made once he re-married). Caroline |
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Twinplums |
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Posts: 2077 (07/07/2008 08:14:53) |
Thank you all for your replies,
No Caroline, I do not think you are talking out of turn, I appreciate your answer. Your pattern of seeing your Dad less & less is exactly what is happening but that is definatley not related to the bus issue. A couple of weeks ago the mother agreed for her to use the bus and then on Friday evening the daughter rang in tears to say that her mother had changed her mind but wouldn't bring her in the car either. It resulted in us fetching her on Saturday morning. OH has tackled his ex but if she doesn't like what he is saying, she just puts the phone down on him. He feels that he has no option but to back down and fetch his daughter else he would not see her. As for the men looking at her issue - He said to the mother, what do you think happens when she goes into town to meet her mates - her mother is under the false impression that the daughter is never in public alone. - How blinkered & naive is that when in fact she has no idea what her daughter does on school holidays when she is off at work all day. Many of the points that you have all mentioned all add fuel to the argument that she is old and responsible enough and OH will drop them into conversation next time this is discussed. Sarah xxx |
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Amanda |
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Posts: 793 (07/07/2008 22:22:17) |
Hello, My daughter is 13 in a couple of weeks, travelling on a bus here for 20 miles would be a hour and half journey, I wouldn't allow her to go on her
own.. I don't know but would you be able to collect her and both of you return on the bus??
Its very difficult, especially with your curcumstances, Mind you I won't let he go in town on her own either, I think one day I will have to let her go.... but walking through town at the weekend there are so many children out, I just don't want her in that environment. I hope you are able to resolve this amanda |
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murchison |
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Posts: 5284 (07/07/2008 22:30:55) |
well i dont know afew years ago i would have thought it a safe age but with all the stabings of young people today i would not let a 13 yr old of my travel
alone today i would be worried sick and there is so much trouble on the buses as well sorry just my view
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