Unless the couple were VERY close and I knew that they were struggling to have even a very modest wedding the answer would be no I won't pay to attend, and certainly not £500. If you are invited to a wedding you shouldn't be expected to pay anything other than evening drinks after the first one. Also it's not right to dictate how much to spend on a wedding present, though I'm not against circulating a wish-list or asking for money/vouchers instead.

In contrast to all that nonsense, we have received an invitation to an evening wedding reception and with it was a note saying 'no presents please, although a small donation to McMillan Cancer Care would be appreciated.' (Second time around for both of them, they've been together for years and the bride has had treatment for cancer - and she's now very well)