I would be quite happy to help out - provide some food items, drinks, flowers etc., but not actual money. Asking/expecting people to pay seems to be the in thing at the moment, my son has been to several birthday parties where a group of friends go to a restaurant and pay for their own food/drinks. Personally I don't think it's special any more if you pay for your own food or whatever, you can go out and pay for yourself any time.
Pauline
x