Can't tell mine, but we once had friends to visit, and after the meal and some chat, the husband said that it was time to get the children home.
Son (aged about 5) piped up 'Da-ad. It seems to me that whenever you are bored with the conversation, you say, Well it's time we got the children home to bed'. 'Dad' didn't know were to put himself.

Same child , slightly younger, was pestering to go to the toilet and being fobbed off by Dad with 'Just a minute son'. Son was quiet for a bit, then when there seemed to be a pause in the conversation, announced in a LOUD voice 'SOAKING WET!!!!!!!!!'
Janet