Everybody has different wishes and we have to respect them. although very religious, my aunt left her body to medical science, and about a year later the family had a similar private cremation, and scattered her ashes over the family allotment as per her wishes. We did however have a memorial service for her at her local church.

My mum organised my Dad's funeral and we had the scout farewell at the end. My mum also told me what hymns she wanted - both funerals were conducted by a family friend - and I have photos taken after mum's funeral with the friend in his clerical robes kneeling on the grass with a bottle of bubbles playing with the children! so definitely a celebration of life. She also wanted her "wake" at the local theatre, and we had to delay the funeral as the theatre was being repainted, and the restaurant kitchens were having their annual deep clean! - typical - trust mum to be awkward! That did give us all a giggle!

I thought I had arranged funeral so that it was NOT the day of my great nephew's birthday (duh had his birthday wrong in the diary!) - anyway after lunch in the theatre restaurant the children all went off to my great nephews birthday party at another venue with a ballpool etc - ( which was actually advantageous as all the cousins from afar could attend - which they wouldn't have normally) - my mum would have loved that and the kids blowing bubbles after the service! I am glad that I delayed the funeral though to carry out her wishes for the wake, and not organised somewhere else - as distant rellies were able to see the memorial plaque to my dad in the theatre - even if the staff did have to escort us to make sure we didn't touch the wet paint!

I do agree with Fiona that family and friends do need some sort of closure, not so much if the person is elderly as it is normally then a celebration of life, but more so when it is somebody younger. As Fiona this is just my personal opinion, but we are all different and have different views on life, and when all is said and done it is their funeral, and if that is what they wanted - so be it.

Mags

Shall be thinking of you all on Monday Carol.