Carol, think of the Frank Sinatra song " I did it my way". If that's what the lady wanted so be it. Its a blessing she had the chance to choose how she wanted everything, and personally I couldn't have gone against her wishes. I can remember a young teenage boy in the papers years ago who  knew he was dying and went out with Goodness Gracious Great Ball a fire (what a sense of humour). Also the person who had their ashes turned into a massive firework. Each to their own. You can remember her your own way. Gill