My wife was hesitant on the subject of what she wanted for our next
anniversary. She said "I want something that has punch and that goes from
0 to 130 in the space of 3 seconds. I bought her scales.
That's when the argument started.
The lawnmower was broken and my wife never stopped asking me to repair it.
But I was always busy with other things - the car, fishing, friends ......
One day, to make me feel worse, I found her sitting on the grass cutting
it with a small pair of scissors. So I took a toothbrush and said to her
"when you're finished cutting the lawn, brush the path. That's when the
argument started.
My wife was looking in the mirror.
She wasn't happy with what she saw and said "I feel horrible. I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." So I said -
"Your eyesight is excellent".
That's when the argument started.
I took my wife to a restaurant. I ordered a rare steak of English beef.
The waiter said "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"No" I said. "She is perfectly capable of ordering herself."
That's when the argument started.
My wife and I went to a school reunion.
There was a man who was completely sozzled, drinking glass after glass of
alcohol. I said to my wife "Do you know him?"
"Yes" she said. "We used to go out together, but when we split up, he hit
the bottle and hasn't stopped since". I said "Who would have thought that
a celebration could last so long?" That's when the argument started.
Arriving home one night, my wife asked me to take her somewhere expensive.
I took her to a service station.
That's when the argument started.
At the supermarket, I asked my wife if I could buy a crate of beer at 25
Euros. She said no, and without asking me, she bought a pot of
rejuvenating cream for 15 Euros. I said that the crate of beer would help
me to think her more beautiful than her pot of cream. That's when the
argument started.


